Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Happiness in clay , trouble passing in the more subtle fields

Man and his dog

Angel on the wall

swan mates candle sticks

canoe, couple testing the water and Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Couple kissing
Back to the dark side of the soul for a moment. Home truths time! It became apparent suddenly that I was still 1. striving away from the present moment. 2. motivated by external phenomena 3. willing, with the slightest of encouragement, to be there. Be there in every sense, turn up, apply myself, be present emotionally, physically and consciously. I am the same regardless of feedback or response.

After clearings, I’d come back here, clear myself and pass out, processing and releasing the residue of what I had tuned in to. Responses range from one short text saying I won’t be coming again, I feel no benefit from the sessions... Nice! Appreciative! One long text saying thanks so much, I am delighted with how things turned out-steady, calm, totally confident, magic here. Another saying loved it, I am sure that will have a lasting effect and so much food for thought too. Several just wanting to talk on the phone and question my methods - blatantly drawn to my resonance but fantastically unwilling to credit me for any of the positive change happening, let alone book a meeting or pay me. Probably because they’re totally unaware of their own resistance to looking at any of the unconscious material I’m dealing with for them.

What’s it all about, I said to myself. What’s the mirror? Its obviously that I have to master giving 100% but with no attachment to the outcome. The I, ego, must fully disappear and simply become a channel for the attunement, alignment, resolution and clearing. Thankfully this comes completely naturally at this stage and I can do it effectively for myself as well and bring myself back to peace. What flummoxes me though is when I want someone or something for myself. I only want one person and I only want little bits of money to keep the home improvements and weekends away going.

Doesn't seem extravagant but the only way forward I came up with was clearing these dynamics. I think I have rebalanced giving and receiving and getting back in the flow. I have also reminded my over active chi to take a chill pill and stop striving and pouring synergy into every interaction and instead start dreaming of being met half way. Now my little beam of light from source should be able to shine more brightly as a sort of established oasis rather than a willow the wisp, candle in the wind vibe. I am having a cup of tea to celebrate this falling away of another bit of illusion!

I don’t think these fleeting disillusionments are just mine though. Everyone I meet is struggling with something similar. I can only suggest keep clearing, day dream of love and utopia and try and keep showing up for the positive 3D occasions! Show your love! For me that was Shaun and Siobhan’s wedding last saturday, veggie night on sunday, dancing on tuesday and Bonny Belle’s wedding on Valentia on Friday. The photos are my latest creations, glazed and out of the kiln yesterday! I welcome feed back but only positive. I'm so over constructive criticism, think we all are at this stage?

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