Healing Equation

From 100% pain to 100% healing in 4 weeks. But you have to do the internal work!

90% Healing I did in identifying the messages from the pain - using pendulum and energetic alignment and reframing. One hour every day, contemplating what is arising from past life trauma to cognitive dissonance to intentional work. Equally important was increasing my receptivity to receive amazingly kind care from people in my vulnerable state. Dinners and the fire lit or whatever you need, you have to let it happen and not stay determined that you are an island to yourself or don't want to be beholden or whatever blocks receptivity usually!
1% Osteopath - This could be something else but allowing yourself the hands on healing from someone you trust is crucial.
0.5% Kinesiology
2% Nutrition including what I made, choose and supplements
4% Gratitude Practice - Ten things written every day, first thing paying it forwards or looking back thankfully.
0.25% Homeopathy
2% Goddess Journey - cosmic, necessary surrender to higher force.
0.25% Kundalini surge Accepted

No.17 in Numerology, Luck and Selling a Painting to Prove It!

I'm really interested and noticing numerology at the moment. I know being in a sacred geometry house helps. But I think everyone I speak to happens to look at the clock when it says 11.11 or some such synchronistic, happily symmetrical binary numbers! I had worried about the number 17 as it is the number of windows in my green house. It seemed excessive and slightly random ...until yesterday when I had just set out to paint them!! 

I read "17 is the least random number, according to the Hackers’ Jargon File. When asked to pick a random number between 1 and 20, the majority of people will pick 17 for no apparent reason. 17 is also the minimum number of givens for any sudoku puzzle, and the number of syllables total in a haiku poem. This number is not random or an accident. Have you ever heard of the Imperial Dragon Seal? It is a token of authority held by the Emperor of China, but also has spiritual and physical powers. It is not random and if it is in your possession, it can bring everything you desire to you." 

Well, lord above, I said to myself, what will grow in this beautiful green house that is now in my possession and I've chosen the exact right amount of windows? Some good luck for starters as, when I came inside, Omar had written to say, I'd sold a painting!!! My one and only erotic (ish) one. It depicts the red tent and the white tent of tantra and the couple are in the yab yum position - in case anyone wanted to look it up or try it out, if they have a partner to hand!

This Self Healing Doesn't Require Isolation

All Medicines Use Animal Ingredients 

and Are Tested on Animals Too

All this talk about vaccines and pharmaceutical companies drives me on to explain how I heal and how I see the world. I’ll take the immediate example of my back going in to spasm from bottom to top, this day, three weeks ago. I didn’t take a painkiller, a steroid or an anti inflammatory, I set about reflecting on what experiences preceded my collapse. 

What Are Your Triggers?

1) On the actual day I had a slight hangover. It was after a great party, that totally warranted such repercussions. However, I might have let some balakans in (dark entities that know when your aura is compromised by alcohol).

2) I did an hour of block laying. I had promised myself to only move five blocks a day but this was the last stretch and I wanted to see if I had enough half-blocks and everything I needed to put the second layer on the raised bed. 

Whoops creation isn't immediately recognisable as this, now I see the two side by side!

The project was specifically to build the flower bed in the shape of a yin yang symbol – the ultimate balance between dark and light, masculine and feminine energy. As this heavy work might, in other circumstances, have been a man’s job, I might well, unconsciously, have been feeling ‘unsupported’. This is the emotion that tends to pre empt back problems! 

3) After block laying, I drove in to do a fitness class. We did some stretching and the splits and some sit-ups. Looking back, I guess my hip muscles didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, at that point. 

4) Especially, as I followed that class with salsa, which has a lot of hip action too and in heels! As they say ‘Whatever Fred Astaire did, Ginger Rogers did too, except backwards and in heels’. So that was me, giving it loads all evening, from pretty much lumber jack to limbo dancer. 

5) After class, we got a chinese takeaway and had a laugh about the night before and all was still totally fine, with my body. Nothing had tweaked or ached at all. I hugged my friends goodbye…and later thought,  one of those guys has a really bad back. Then it dawned on me that the last three people to live at Harmony Hall had all spent months on their backs, unable to move with pain. 

Mark told me once that his pain wasn’t pre empted by an injury or incident either. He had come home from abroad, fit and strong and within a week been floored. 

Empathise with caution and practice detachment

I thought through and cleared the relevant traces from Harmony Hall, in case I was identifying with them. As goodness knows, I do have an extreme tendency to empathize and thus inevitably join in. 

Just because it hurts does not mean it isn't useful 

and good for you

I learnt that another friend was in pain and he reminded me that although it was physically challenging, the opportunities for growth in every other area were great. So I tucked into the sofa and concentrated on my spirit, mind and feelings.

That’s when I started watching films and filtering in so many ‘champions in the face of adversity’ stories that I started to empathize and see myself in them as well and build my energy back up that way!

Material World/Spiritual World - Where are you living? 

I realized I had become very 3 dimensional in conversation. I was worrying about finances and friendships and family and the future. I could only explain things in psychological and physical terms, no one could grasp the intuitive and multi dimensional explanations that come more readily to me, so I had stopped talking. I was running headlong and I needed to get back to the spiritual understanding, my truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth! 

I’m not sure I would change anything I did this last 3 months but I was creating the biome, acting like a building contractor, gardener, labourer, artist, sponsor and entrepreneur, combined. I was inspired but exhausted of all resources. I had started making what you might call desperate decisions!! 

How could i not be inspired to move on when I got these beautiful drawings, from  Bio-architect Michael Rice 

Rash Employment and What You Learn

I got a job transcribing court cases from recordings. In my calculations, I had put the decimal point in the wrong place; 40 cent for every 70 words I think it was. Suffice to say, I earned €4 and €8 for the first two jobs, each at least 4 hours' work. And my consciousness suffered, as I had to listen to the tapes at Darth Vader speed, while the judge went over the hideous sex offences in excruciating detail. I was quite disturbed, didn’t want to leave the house after dark. So then I thought the antedote might be ‘fruit picking’. 

Slave Trade In Kilkenny

I enjoyed/was grateful of the work and it was €9.50 an hour but it was shocking in another way. I was packing parsnips and then packing pumpkins in an intense conveyor belt scene. It was incessant, each trailer two and a half hours with no more than a second's peace. It was definitely confirmation that the slave trade is alive and well in Ireland. Twenty or more Romanian, Armenian and other eastern European men and women, housed in the farm’s own properties, bussed to work for as many hours as required. The week I was there that was a 6.45am start and a 7.30pm finish, sometimes later. But that’s another story.

Why wouldn't you go to the doctor or A&E? 

I knew that neither of these COULD even help. The A&E will eliminate the possibility that you're dying, check nothing is broken and maybe give you something for the pain. A GP too can only examine you, prescribe relief and eventually refer you to maybe a specialist and/or physio therapist. Maybe that's why there's so many people in chronic pain; because these options take months and years to happen. And all that time your body is in spasm and you're taking pain killers is only compounding the issue. There is not much healing going on. Just because healing takes time, that time must be well spent on an internal quest, hand in hand with a self care review and plan.

Who can Help? Who can heal?

The only physical thing to do is put an ice pack (or a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel) on the area for 10 minutes every hour. This reduces inflammation and swelling and provides pain relief. A hot water bottle further up eases the spasm and stiffness and a hot water bottle to hug, reminds you life is still worth living. Do this for a week before you arrange any examinations or treatments. 

Just because I didn’t go to the doctor, didn’t mean that I didn’t accept anyone’s help! I was so vulnerable that I had to really apply myself to what I needed. The only pressing question I could deal with myself was, can I find the strength, manageable pain threshold and way to roll off this sofa to go to the bathroom some time in the next half an hour!

Heal Yourself of Accumulated Pain

I spent an hour or so each day identifying and clearing the major pains accumulated in this and past lives and in my own cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is when you find it hard to move on as you are still thinking you are living in those traumatic circumstances and you have yet to psychologically and emotionally catch up with your current circumstances, which are totally fine.    

My God-sent neighbour was very clear that comfort was the answer, namely comfort eating and a warm house. He got wood chopped, in and the fire going everyday. And faced the supermarket with an eclectic list on several occasions! 

Osteopathy 

'The Treatment of Medical Disorders through the manipulation and massage of the skeleton and musculature' 

They Know The Body like The Back of Their Hand!

Then my friend and osteopath extraordinaire, Kilkenny-based Catriona Foley, came to the rescue three times. She feared that my back was twisted at the top, various discs damaged and all my muscles strained as well. The spasm was basically the only thing holding me together. I said no, I was quite fine, nothing had really crunched or snapped. But I didn’t really have a leg to stand on because when she asked me to roll over, I couldn’t even lift my face out of the hole, let alone get a push off any of my limbs. Then, I couldn’t stop crying for a full five minutes, when she deftly manoeuvred me herself! 

Healing versus Numbing the Pain

What we did agree on is that I needed time for my body to calm down. She asked, would I take a paracetemol and I said not if I could avoid it, which of course I can. For me, there is a direct conflict between healing through consciousness and any numbing of the pain. We have to turn towards the messages that we’re being sent and listen closely, rather than turn away and try and get rid of them. I would say that pain is simply a bit of information that you have massive resistance to hearing.

One Step Forward and Two Steps Back: 

Optimists like me say, that isn't a disaster it is more of a cha cha cha

That night was particularly similar to rigour mortis setting in. My friend Geraldine had to pull me on to the sofa on a plastic bag because shuffling, wiggling or shunting were out of the question. But by the day after, I was better. I could identify exactly what part of me was hurt, as the surrounding horror had passed! And, pleasingly, I was right. It wasn’t my back, it was my perfectly strong periformus (bum muscle under the glutes but directly above the sciatic nerve). To my amusement, I could now stand upright but only if I did a ‘body wave’ up, like in latin dance, rather than a straight-on, pull yourself up straight thing! 
what a body roll is!

Kinesiology - 

The Study of The Mechanics of Body Movement  

They establish exactly what your body can and can't handle

I also saw my friend, kinesiologist extraordinaire, Kilkenny-based Carmel Costello. Along with some work with serious crystals that I’ve been able to continue with at home and some muscle testing investigations, she found that I had a deep infection left from when I had wisdom teeth extracted many moons ago. Alongside the homeopathic miracle (which is a very similar principle to vaccination but still, thankfully, in safe hands), she also found vegan versions of Mineral combinations to restore and build up my skeleton. Also, an obscure Mushroom Blend to protect my cells from free radicals and other pollution-related toxins that could compromise them. 

What is pollution?

When I say pollution-related, I refer to bad feelings, fearful thoughts, health miasms from one’s family where there is a recurring illness that has knocked many out and you can recreate it, if you’re not careful. I also refer to chemicals on your food, artificially ripened fruit, wifi and phone signals and negative people and their opinions around you. I bet you 50 cent, everyone reading this has one or two of these contenders eroding their energy. Not mine, now, I am protected on the cellular level by this supplement and on a grand level by my careful awareness of what I’m up against, on more than merely a physical level.

Another friend helped me with the cosmological understanding. Where the planets, in particular Venus and Chiron, are in their journey’s, means that a vast amount of people are experiencing back pain and the period of inactivity, deep reflection and hibernation is necessary for our evolution.  Chiron was retrograde but on the 9th December went direct again - and you might resonate with the impact this has had. Venus stripped of power and slain

Conscious Evolution and Energy Clearing 

The power of intention is the starting point of 

creating any desired outcome

This is the key to it all: Another friend articulated the energetic understanding: How the feeling of being unsupported had been a long time coming! Reassuring me that for people dedicated to the rise in consciousness, exploring the truth and healing with purely compassion and intention, our time is coming. Soon, we won’t have to conform anymore and try and explain everything in empirical and rational terms. Those never were the whole picture and I don’t believe that they’re really even the salient points. 

Your Physical Condition follows a long Development Period 

What ailments carve themselves out in our bodies have been present in our thoughts, emotions and environment long before. And yes, I am convinced that we  are all connected, so when I go down and surface again to fight the good fight, (or anyone else does for that matter) we are taking one for the team. What we heal for ourselves, we heal for everyone... don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it! These insights and encouragement always come from Freya Lawton, of the Stillflow Wellness Centre in Co. Clare. 

She also holds the great accolade of being the voice of Polly Higgins’ Organization, in Ireland; the lawyer and law of Ecocide; the only legislation that seeks and just might be able to protect the environment, from greedy polluters.   

Good food includes what exactly?

Then, another friend brought food twice!!! And two-days’ worth each time and her ukele and some fantastically morbid songs that made me feel pretty much 100% in comparison. 

Another friend brought a chinese takeaway, then umpteen classic dvds another day and then took me out for the day – first time out of the house in over 2 weeks!

Raw cracker ingredients before being mixed!

When I was able to stand and walk but not sweep (I was told!!!) I prepared my raw food Christmas dishes and put them in the freezer! We're talking chocolate truffles, mince pies and brandy butter, nut loaf and cranberry and orange sauce, millionaire shortbread, lemon, chocolate and buckwheat biscuits. Soup, coronation butterbean...Yes, I've nearly served up the lot already but food preparation is so cathartic, especially when it's all free of refined sugars, yeast, gluten, chemicals and obviously animal ingredients. Just harmless delicious, organic nuts and fruit and combinations fit for a master of body and mind!! Well, that's my view and I'm sticking to it for now!

What Else Needs to Heal Apart From Your body?

What I’m saying is, it’s your spirits you need to lift, that I needed to lift, the past to let go of, the limiting beliefs to challenge and the grief to pass. Yes it’s humbling but only the glimmering of real knowledge has the power to change radically and for good the whole of our mental and physical constitution.

Being a good physician in the following sense, is what I’m aiming for and work permanently on retrieving, healing and assimilating all fragments of people's souls and keeping my own intact! This paragraph explains why it has been so difficult for many people to work on this level: To be ‘It is very rarely that a person with modern culture feels inclined to submit to the guidance of another, especially in spiritual matters. But the very person submits readily enough to the direction of a doctor, for being cured of his bodily ailments. That is because these latter (bodily ailments) cannot be ignored without consequences that are patent (obvious) to everybody. The problem that results from our neglect of the ailments of the soul is of a nature that paralyses and deludes our understanding and prevents the recognitions of itself (self awareness and recognizing what is happening for your heart and soul). The gravity of the ailments of the soul are not recognized, as they do not apparently stand in the way of our worldly activities with the same directness as the other. The average cultured man is, therefore, at liberty to ask questions (endless questions and indeed scoff) without realizing any pressing necessity of submitting to the treatment of spiritual maladies at the hands of a really competent physician.' Ancient Paper on Initiation Into Spiritual Life

So, I just keep doing my work, healing myself, talking in libraries – particularly knitting groups and creative writing groups I notice – about their hearts and souls and bringing things back into good priority order!

But most importantly, I am better and I didn’t hand over my power to anyone. I just asked people that I trusted to help. I experienced community, taking responsibility and receptivity. 

Gratitude Practice

Every day, I wrote ten things down at least that I had to be grateful for. Powerful processes, all of the above, and I recommend you contact any of those people I mentioned for assistance if you yourself are in trouble. We all have so many gems of healing friendship to reflect for each other, let’s make the most of them.

On the Creating Calm Network, there are recordings of my multiple groundbreaking conversations with Energy Worker, Freya Lawton of the Stillflow Wellness Centre and a brilliant interview with Carmel Costello, Kinesiologist, too! My Radio Shows: Healing From Harmony Hall and New Directions 

Our Health Is Our Wealth...Our ill health is their wealth

Hi, I think what I would do, is give the benefit of the doubt to the tried and tested vaccines. Like with Polio, I would check that the vaccine is the same as it was when first devised, not a modern version, then look at the history of side effects recorded. Then look at the need for it; the prevalence and other founding factors to polio, to establish the risk and need at this time, in this context and the particular child and then say yes or no.  

Since I've been reading a little on HPV I've learned more basic concepts about how vaccines work, how they are trialled and how the results are recorded. The principle of injecting a micro version of a serious illness to trigger a reaction in the immune system is a massive stress to the body and massive unknown quantity as to how each body will respond, short and long term, so I'm completely against routinely vaccinating babies of 2 and 6 months old unless they're really in the firing line amidst an epidemic or major return of the illness in their peers. 

To use a horse jumping analogy, Isn't the key to hold the reins, analyse the 7 points, including your approach, your take off, look at the landing and your chance at getting away intact and weigh things up. 

I'm for decision making, choice and personal responsibility. 

Don't fall for the black and white thinking that the government would have us; some anti vaccination loonies versus some responsible pro vaccine citizens and professionals. We must not let ourselves to blinded to the valid questions, arguments and considerations around our health or, by mistake,overlook the changed motivations of politicians and medical producers. There is now a very sizeable amount of money, industry, jobs, agreements tied up with it rather than well wishes. 

Our health is our wealth...Our ill health is their wealth!!
In America, pharmaceutical companies have an overt mission statement: Have every citizen on an average of four prescription drugs, from cradle to grave. And now those pharmaceutical companies are moving here to Ireland. Wooing the government with money and jobs, testing on our animals, way beyond the regulations on misery you're allowed to and now pushing their sales targets. Meanwhile, we're still thinking well if the doctor says it's a good idea, we better had better do it.

When Simon Says 'Give the HPV vaccine to boys'...the game's not funny anymore

Now this is what I call violence ...or abuse of power at least.

When people in authority pressure ordinary people into allowing the injecting of their children with vaccines with dangerous side effects, to please the pharmaceutical companies - set to profit massively from their nationwide sale. 

Meet Your Maker...or rather the HPV vaccine maker, Merck

Merck who devised the HPV vaccine were welcomed to Carlow, as an employer, while in America they were facing over 800 lawsuits against them for tragic results of this vaccine. Just think about it, it doesn't add up. 

The vaccine is supposed to protect against cervical cancer - boys do not have a cervix, it is part of the uterus! 

Think about the tests that vaccine has gone through. How many 13 year old girls have they tested it on with a view to their being sexually active and with the caveat that the protection only lasts for five years, until they're 18? None. Not one. Not recording the debilitating symptoms of many girls on the trial

How long has this stuff been on the market? 

What has it been made of? Just tap in to google 'vaccine ingredients'. Notice Mercury, the second most poisonous substance on the planet. 

Vaccines might have been a God-send back in the day when doctors took the Hippocratic Oath and prescribed to their best abilities but nowadays consultants are sponsored by pharmaceutical companies. Political parties are sponsored by them too. It is very big business. 

Tap into google too, 'What is the situation in California with vaccines'. A compulsory programme of 40 something vaccines for every citizen or they are not allowed to be employed. And the doctors are cast out if they don't insist every patient gets the full quota of jabs. Do some soul searching and consider is this happening for the good of the people's health? 

Also have a look at the side effects. 

Again, I'm not saying distrust the medical profession (like I do now) or believe every conspiracy theory (like I do now!!!) but please please please do your research and make your own decision so if the veritable s*** hits the fan and your precious kid is affected, you can handle it better. Blame is barely a second best to prevention.

Who do you empathize with and why?!

Who Was I In A Past Life?

I did a meditation two days ago and had the insight that I had been a farm animal in 3 previous lifetimes and a slave in 6. This is what has given me the empathy for animals and people in powerless situations. But we have all been around the block, known fear and all beings tremble before violence. 

The Skill of Self Mastery

On the positive side, the greatest achievement in life is to live harmlessly. It shows that you can overcome your appetites and habits and not yourself stay a slave to society or the norms of your past.

Legend and I this summer

Consider The People And Animals In The Supply Chain 

God bless all the pigs chopped into hams, all the bullocks chopped into steak and mashed into burgers and all the turkeys with their insides pulled out and breadcrumbs stuffed in. Sorry fates in anyone’s book.

Vegan Christmas Alternatives 

I for one have been busy with killer alternatives. Nut loaf with cranberry sauce, mince pies and brandy butter, chocolate truffles, millionaire shortbread, banoffi pie, tomato soup, pizza. Because I don’t heat my dishes above 50 degrees, you can taste every ingredient in all its glory. All veggie, no dairy, eggs, honey, fish. Any substance that someone else was enjoying before I came along, I try and leave it with them. I think it’s a good rule of thumb.

Explain Yourself Only To Those Who Are On Your Level

I met a lovely old man the other day and we talked for ages. When I said I was vegan, he said ‘oh no, not a violent vegan I hope?’ I said I thought vegans were the least violent as they don’t like to harm a fly and use humane mouse traps etc. He said, you know like a vegan who tries to persuade other people to go vegan! I’ve been thinking since does that make all TV violent? All internet? All shops?

Don't Let Anyone Sell you Anything

They’re all trying to get you to do something, buy something. They’d like to persuade you of something and gloss right over the details of the repercussions for yourself and others. You’re just part of a supply chain.

What I’m asking you is to NOT do something. Not do anything without thinking about it first and deciding if it’s something you feel genuinely good about doing. Be a nonconformist. Don’t give a damn what others think of you. All that matters is what you think of you.