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"Integrating oneness one day at a time"
It was an interesting day for energy clearing yesterday. I have met with a bit of disrespect recently and found that I had no idea how to defend myself. I can never work out quickly enough what bit of anger is justified, which bit isn’t and how to express it or let it go. On further attention, I remembered that anger was not allowed in our house, growing up. No one raised their voices and the general rule of thumb was that if you haven’t got anything positive to say, don’t say anything at all.
My bro and I at a not at all angry moment it looks like!
But, if every time you think of someone a wave of mixed emotions sweep by, stifling your good feelings and even your energy, that is not healthy and, in an important way, it was me doing it to me! I was allowing hostility and hurt to shut me down. So I identified that there were 7 categories and they emerged thus:
1)Anger stored in my body
2)Anger persistent in my thought
3)Anger from when I was a child
4)Random anger aimed at me for being female, having an English accent etc.
5)Righteous anger – being angry on someone else’s behalf, like about the exploitation of animals or treatment of people.
6)Justified anger aimed at me plus me feeling bad about it for too many years!
7)Unjustified anger aimed at me plus confusion as to how to respond.
It took ages to clear actually, a whole drive to Clonmel and back, in fact. I had thought I was going to pick up K rend coloured plaster, but the shop was shut early. Sometimes you need that time on your own in the car to deal with other stuff. Feeling very blessed today to have a clean slate, no judgement and no fear of reprisal either!
A good way to feel grateful for the person you've become