Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Saying Goodbye With Gratitude, Mark

Saying Goodbye With Gratitude

Mark was one of the first people to ask me to come and clear the geo-pathic stress and history of his church. When I got there, I noticed a big sign saying ‘ATITUDE’ on the wall over his yoga mat. He seemed able to take a joke so I said I liked his reminder but had he noticed his spelling mistake? Without the curtain though, it actually read ‘GRATITUDE’  It was the first of many funny moments.

He was a yoga teacher who did not wait for me to build my upper body strength and insisted I get into a triangular support position with the door and do a handstand right there and then..if a handstand is what I wanted to do! The relaxed way he took my ankle so I didn’t do myself any serious damage, made me feel as light as a feather and maybe able to do it on my own…both of which feelings were misleading!

 At the subtle body yoga retreat!

Physical safety was a theme of our friendship though. When we went to Barbados, to visit the brilliant Liz Cunningham, another maker of dreams come true, I know for definite that I wouldn’t have jumped on those minibuses, randomly explored, drank and swam, let alone made it back to the apartment, or on to the meeting place for the sunset – that’s what you do in Barbados, you meet with friends every day, to watch the sunset – if I hadn’t had Mark as navigator and body guard. The latter is how he introduced himself when curious locals asked what we were doing there!

But he really wanted me to be free too and braver; even buying me a ticket to Poland and a hostel so I would go on a new adventure – off the Kilkenny, Kerry, Oxford triangle, which I had been on for a long time. He remained in text support right until I got there in one piece and made some friends in Krakow. I got to go to the Resistance museum. Everyone knows ‘resistance is futile’ but it occurred to me that Mark was the only person I knew who would have survived that resistance against the nazis. No one was allowed to tell anyone else that they were in it – not like now where we can express our views openly and support each other.

Such a generous friend, he was always piling unwanted shrubs and young trees into his van and bringing them down for my place. Sometimes, he’d even travel with a full barrow of wet cement slopping around after work, to carry on his project here.

At the dog shelter vigil on the parade

And I was not a crap friend to him either! He lived here on an exchange basis, so he could save money to pay up for and do up the church. He worked on whatever he felt like doing and thank God he had great vision, taste and energy because I usually like to decide what happens here. That was instead of paying rent, even though I was broke. 

An amazing 200 metre path, steps and amphitheatre Mark created through the woods

Then he moved in again, a few months or year later as he was arguing with everyone as usual and suddenly had nowhere to go, with beloved Dakota and she chased cats, so it was a big ask! I stuck up for him too, always maintaining that everyone needs at least one friend who doesn’t have to listen to both sides of the story. I was a faithful friend. 

And this came in handy when the wonderful Yulia came into his life, as she was worried about whether Mark was the real deal. She couldn’t know for certain as she hadn’t come to Ireland yet. He had stuck his heels in and was angry, announced to me that ‘if you give an inch, they’ll take a mile’ – that makes me smile even now. Anyway, he meant that if you reassure a woman even once, she will never stop asking! That was the only time I ever succeeded in persuading him of anything. I said it’s perfectly reasonable to put the person you love’s mind at rest. So she knows where she stands with you.  That is what I’m most grateful of, I think, that he found her and they got married and all.

Beautiful steps he made, long before the cabin was there

We were, collectively, good friends to other people too. Like a mutual friend was locked up for being delusional. I told Mark after about a week that when I dowsed and applied all my intuition and discernment, I got a ‘yes’ to everything the friend said as being true and everything had happened exactly as he described it – no delusion at all. Mark replied, “I think so too. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you”. That has been my favourite saying ever since! Between us all, we got the guy out of dodge.

"Evening Drinks With Mark": The one painting of him, he let me do as I was just using his Facebook profile picture - when it was that gorgeous black lamb - to work from!!

Mark was nearly always bristling with reflections on his past or the state of the world today, for people, animals and the environment. It was hard not to take him personally. Today, I realized it’s a miracle we were got on as long as we did! But I’m so grateful to have known someone so emotional yet stoic, so reactive and yet so deep.  He always said his brother Ross was the first of the family to wake up and led the way on all progressive ideas and values. 

I only saw him a handful of times in the last few years. Thankfully, that was mostly because he was living in Ukraine, on the wings of love. But I am grateful to have been spared seeing him in pain this last year. 

Planting the water garden with lovely plants donated by his Mum

Not seeing him came about as part of the biggest and hardest lesson he taught me, which was to mind my own business! This wasn’t a subtle lesson where I sensed that they’d rather do things their own way. It was literally me being me - I have always been around and helped people who are sick and sometimes dying. I honestly used to think the energy work I do was my job on the planet. I also happen to believe every heart beat is important so I had a multitude of what seemed essential and healing things to do to get well...and?  Mark eventually telling me to feck off! Rightly so, probably and I think he’ll be glad to observe, from the other side, that I’ve reined in my energy, in many friendships actually, and am saving it to fight the good fight.

I have confirmed with him telepathically today that I am determined to live until every animal is freed and there is no trace of carcinogenic farm sprays poisoning the food, air and water. It is the least we can do in his honour because it is so unfair he got poisoned on the quiet when he lived so mindfully and actively. Oh I know there are lots of reasons he got ill but he himself wanted the spraying and killing stopped, so let’s do that.

And then the biggest thank you of all must be for his providing the great sound track to so many evenings. Probably Kiss Off by The Violent Femmes was my first request and then always followed by a suggestion from him, Want to sing Karma Police. Everyone loves to sing Karma Police don’t they?  ‘For a minute there I lost myself, I lost myself’ I think he has paid his karmic debt in full this time and/or transmuted it, with so many beautiful creations like my meditation garden. I heard today, too late that he wanted people to share some pictures of his work and his legacy. Still, I’ll put them here. Still, after enjoying eternal life for a bit, he can come back on his own terms. I can’t wait, I’m sure we’ll all be there in some shape or form. Goodness knows, we must all be from the one soul group.

Rest in peace Fx

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